Posted by Michael Finkelstein | May 17th, 2011
Two weeks ago, I wrote about the significance of the Milk Moon and the importance of our relationships. Now, as we enter into the phase of the Full Moon, we should take this opportunity to take action, looking more fully into the quality of the relationships we have. We need to honor our loved ones, not merely by saying so, but by strengthening the relationships we have with them. However, this is not about reforming others. More to the point, it is about transforming our appreciation for what we bring to the relationship ourselves. To do so, we must first look in the mirror and be honest, learning to evaluate what level of commitment we are willing to give to those we love. As a result of the clarity we can achieve in this way, some of our relationships will grow stronger and deeper, though others will not.
Periodically then, we must take this inventory, and we must also learn to accept what we cannot change. As in nature, it is natural for some things to grow while others wither. Without judgment, we can embrace the necessary evolution of our relationships and understand that the growth we enjoy is dependent on our ability to let go at times.
During the highly celebrated wedding ceremony of Prince William and Kate Middleton, the Abbey of Westminster said, “Marriage should transform as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform so long as we don’t harm our ambitions by trying to reform our partners. There must be no coercion if the spirit is to flow. Each must give the other space and freedom.”
Ultimately, we must try to understand that transformation is possible only by respecting the autonomy of others and taking full responsibility for our part. Like two paddlers in the same canoe, we will get nowhere if we don’t honor this principle. Whether we are speaking of our intimate partner, our parents, children, friends, co-workers or neighbors, this rule applies.
Indeed, we can transform our world and enjoy a new sense of fulfillment and partnership with all of those around us, but to do so we must begin within ourselves with the elimination of any mindset of reformation and negativity. If we learn and grow and remain at peace with the earth and each other, even moving on can be seen in the positive. The beautiful butterfly is non apologetic when she leaves the carcass of her previous incarnation behind; instead she embraces the brief moment when she can fly. In this way, look for the love you seek inside and bring that forward.\